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!programmer_humor@programming.dev

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Save animals, push to prod

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We do not test on animals, we test in production
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Shift blame

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Blame CloudFlare for Website Issues The Cloudflare Error Page Generator (https://github.com/donlon/cloudflare-error-page) is an open-source tool for creating highly customizable error pages in the style of Cloudflare. It perfectly mimics Cloudflare’s famous error page designs (such as the 5xx internal server error pages) and can be embedded directly into your website. You can easily generate static HTML files to replace default error pages, allowing you to quickly shift the blame to CloudFlare whenever your site runs into problems.

Github - Website

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money

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When you have to checkout the master branch

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Upwards mobility

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line noise

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Electron apps

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Programmers are no longer needed!

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Engineer who can't function without AI

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Video Thumbnail
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Esoteric Programming Languages: Rockstar, Tabloid, Baby Language, Ook!, Chef

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Zero Trust Architecture

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Good old CEO

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Its actually because I'm a noob 😓

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Am baby

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don't do ai and code kids

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Relatable

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Default branch

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Drake rejects "master" and "main", approves of "_start"
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S&Box went open-source and the comments are very calm

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More fun ones: https://github.com/search?q=repo%3AFacepunch%2Fsbox-public+fuck&type=code

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JPEG XL is Dead. Long Live JPEG XL

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google: when poeple keep using jpeg-xl and you need to umplement support

https://groups.google.com/a/chromium.org/g/blink-dev/c/WjCKcBw219k/m/NmOyvMCCBAAJ?pli=1

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Multithreading

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Tech companies be like

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12
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Too much Bloat

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ed is the standard text editor

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Fix social problems with code

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They're just like us!

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What are some of the worst code you have seen in a production environment?

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I’ll give an example. At my previous company there was a program where you basically select a start date, select an end date, select the system and press a button and it reaches out to a database and pulls all the data following that matches those parameters. The horrors of this were 1. The queries were hard coded.

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I wasted all my generational luck for this

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It was best as a silly toy language in the 1990's...

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Squidward Tentacles meme format. Top panel shows Squidward looking happy while setting up a beach chair, with the text 'WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO AN OPEN SOURCE PROJECT I USE AND APPRECIATE'. Bottom panel shows Squidward looking sad and disappointed, folding up the chair and going back inside a building, with the text 'WRITTEN IN JS'.
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Junoir vs Senior

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I hate it when Windows wants me to wear a suit.

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Crazy weather we're having

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functions

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/39334581

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Easy way to remember the OSI model

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The Final Final Layer_new(3)

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The real dependency comic

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What even is this timeline?!

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claude praises claude
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This meme keep evolving day by day.

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Clock but the PM quit and was replaced halfway through the project. Handover instructions: "Make the clock hands show the current time"

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Magic word

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Jenga Stack

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Original post: https://mastodon.social/@chechar/115571726910318246

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All modern digital infrastructure

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Clock but DevOps insisted we implement cutting edge DDOS protection

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Programming for the first time

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Trolley rebase

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Lucky enough, I am C++ Developer

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Leak Reveals Gemini 3.0 Is Just Gemini 2.5 Through GNU Parallel

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Every time I write about a single board computer, half the internet goes down

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Caution: Humour

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The myth of "consensual" internet

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Oh the irony.

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Webpage "isitdownorisjust.me" down due to cloudflare outage.
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Why /dev/null Is an ACID Compliant Database

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Haha, arch bad

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BTW… (Does Manjaro count?)

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C++ on Uncyclopedia

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Clock but we saved money by having the new junior Dev implement daylight savings time support at the last minute

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Do you like (AI) clocks?

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Clock, but it's downloaded from app store

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When a junior dev joins the team

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Co-pilot bicycle

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[it’s a little half bicycle for a child that is attached to the adult’s bike, and it says co-pilot]

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Checks out

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A finished product

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CIA tracing those IPv44 addresses

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ᨐᵉᵒʷ

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https://twink.men/notes/af3sk94jyi3l0o83

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Don't touch my garbage!

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Edit: Thanks for your kind comments on disabling contributions. I’m aware of the possibility, this is just a meme.

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The Six Stages of Code Grief

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Sad days

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Clock but a virus prevents it from rendering.

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Clock face with no hands.

By viewing this post you are infected, and all future clocks you attempt to make will fail to render, too.

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Some of you guys haven't used luarocks and it shows

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Well, hello waterfox and librewolf

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This is literally me

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My day in two parts

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My day in two parts

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Real hackers roll their own little one

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error: Error

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Clock but it is SELECT RomNum FROM Digits ORDER BY RomNum; --it will work this time

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NaN Posting

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https://mastodon.well.com/@rk/115533116416499294

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I wish debugging looked like this

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with a break statement right?

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https://vt.social/@cyan/115530076272254156

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Microservices

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Binary

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My girlfriend is an actual model, just fyi

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npm install

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Can't unsee

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How to get 2 billion valuation

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applogies

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applogies
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I Assumed 'Twas The Boot Code

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Microsoft development strategy

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Clock, but I read the last Clock post

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clock with no numbers

now you are infected too, sorry

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you guys are paying for git?

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ooc wikipedia

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia_(object-oriented_programming)

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The PowerShell Manifesto Radicalized Me

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Enter a postal address, I think you'll find it near-impossible

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https://codepen.io/GeorgeWL/full/oNWRQPx

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:y soul from /dev/null | :put flesh | :%s/existence/thresher/g

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The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence into this… meat, to force a life into this… thresher.

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Tabloid: the clickbait headline programming language

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SQLite

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Hitler reacts to functional programming

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Video Thumbnail
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Clock but we saved DB space by just returning the index of the array of DigitNames

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Clock but it's SELECT Digits FROM Numbers ORDER BY DigitName DESC

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Clock, but its ORDER BY Hour DESC

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Apple forgot to disable production source maps on the App Store web app

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5 years later during the height of Covid-29:

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timeoutSort

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If political issues had issue trackers...

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Me, when doing error handling

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StackOverflow vs ChatGPT

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